Eleven Other Songs Cee Lo Green Would Like to Upgrade

Emboldened by the newsworthiness of his New Year’s Eve performance of “Imagine,” Cee Lo Green has announced his next album will consist of eleven more cover tunes, all featuring his now-trademark minor changes. Here’s a preview of the tracklist:

Cee Lo Green

“Blue Suede Shoes” (new lyric: “You can do anything that you want to do, and that includes being in the vicinity of and/or on top of my shoes”)

“Billie Jean” (new lyrics: “The kid is not my son, although the results of the paternity test have yet to come back, so I may have to change my statement at a later date”)

“Killing in the Name” (new lyric: “On second thought, I’m actually quite comfortable doing what you tell me”)

“The Sound of Silence” (new lyric: “Wait a minute, how does silence make a sound? This song makes no sense”)

“Blowin’ in the Wind” (new lyric: “The answer my friend is twelve”)

“Papa Was a Rolling Stone” (new lyric: “Does that mean he was Keith Richards? To be perfectly honest, I didn’t pay any attention to the rest of the lyrics so I have no idea what’s going on in this song”)

“Ohio” (new lyric: “Gotta get down to it, I’m sure the National Guard will have our best interests in mind”)

“Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang” (new lyric: “It’s like this and like that and like this… wait a sec, I just said ‘it’s like this’ twice, is that how it’s supposed to go? That’s redundant”)

“You Can’t Always Get What You Want” (new lyric: “But if you try sometimes, you just might find you can’t find your keys”)

“Lola” (new lyric: “What does this mean, ‘and so is Lola’? How can Lola be a man? She’s a woman, right? I mean, that’s what the rest of the song is about. This must be a typo or something”)

“Won’t Get Fooled Again” (new lyric: “Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe!”)

“Fuck You” (new lyric: “I see you driving ’round town with the girl I love, and I’m like, as long as she’s happy, that’s what’s important, right?”)

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